Recently, a friend told me that I was the victim of first-world problems.
I did not argue with him over the merits of the statement, because I perfectly well know how true it is. I do tend to break my head over things that wouldn’t make most people bat an eyelid. Sometimes, the frustration is so deep-seated that I can feel a ridge forming in the middle of my forehead. Ka-boom!
The remark, however, made me investigate the source of my worries—many of which, I realized, lie in objects of daily use, and the time spans for which they last. Given a chance, I would make most things last for a lifetime. Yes, A LIFETIME, with minimum effort, of course.
Here’s a list that is currently driving me nuts.
Things that I wish lasted a lifetime
Wine /whisky glasses (I have ‘unfriended’ so many people in my mind for ‘accidentally’ breaking a few over conversations that make sense ONLY and ONLY when your head is spinning from all that alcohol)
MAC lipsticks (Fellas, don’t roll your eyes at this; they actually make you look like a goddess)
Salt (Who remembers running out of salt just when you thought you were ready to cook?)
Soap (I don’t want to spend two hours every other week deciding which scented soap will boost my sex appeal)
Umbrellas (I am buying the raven-black ones next)
Tiffin boxes (150…and counting; I am still crying over the one that had Hello Kitty on it)
Shoes (Did you ever own a pair that you thought was the perfect fit for you? And by perfect I mean that you never got any shoe bites and it didn’t hurt when you didn’t have time to cut your nails and it even saw you through the rainy days?)
Hair bands (There is a black hole, I believe…Arggh, Alice, was it you who invented the concept?)
Thriller novels (Ever tried rereading one?)
Milk in my fridge (Pass me the tea bags!)
Earphones (Where are they?)
Things that actually last a lifetime
A ballpoint pen that takes on a life of its own and uses the innards of my handbag as a notepad (I am not even talking about the ink that perpetually leaks)
Coffee stains on my office desk (Some even take interesting shapes, at times visibly sexual)
Cotton brassieres (They are comfortable, but not sexy, no way)
Bad perfume (Anyone owns a bottle that smells like stale roses?)
Plastic food containers (I still have one that goes back to 2000; on a more serious note, who remembers the year 2000?)
Plastic carry bags (Yeah, I know the idea of ‘forever’ in the case of plastic)
Grey mufflers (They call for an official study on immortality)
Ketchup sachets (1 burger delivered home= 4 sachets; 2 burgers delivered home= 8 sachets…take your time to do the math)
Nail polish (I am taking them to my grave)
Cloth hangers (No philosophical connotations, please)
Handkerchiefs (Because nobody uses them anymore)